Thank you – a dying art?

Are thank you notes, for graduations and weddings, obsolete? I didn’t think sending a thank you for gifts received would become something out of date or old fashion.

When I graduated, thank you notes were ordered at the same time as the invitations and announcements. Now it has been more years then I would care to admit to since I graduated, but when my daughter graduated it was the same. I tried to make sure she wrote her thank you notes as she received gifts so the task would not become overwhelming. I, also, recall ordering thank you notes at the same time my wedding invitations were ordered years ago.

Is it expecting too much to receive some sort of acknowledgment that a gift was received, even if the recipient doesn’t appreciate or like the gift? I love to give gifts. I enjoy shopping for something special for the individual I am getting it for. Whether it is a graduation, wedding or even a birthday I put a lot of thought into it. I try to get something for the recipient they will enjoy and hope they will think about me when they use or see the gift. I understand what I may consider a good gift the recipient may not feel the same. We all get a gift sometime or another we have no use for or wonder what the gift giver was thinking; I’ve gotten a few myself. But, I still thank them because they did put time and effort into the gift. I live across country from most of my family and friends and without a thank you note or even a phone call I have no idea if they received the gift or not.

In doing some research, all information I find shows it is still proper etiquette to send thank you notes for graduation and wedding gifts. Notes for the graduation gifts should be sent by two weeks after graduation. Wedding gift thank you notes should be sent no later than three months after the wedding. I’ve been waiting a year and even longer in some cases, so looks like I’m not receiving a thank you. Perhaps the gift didn’t arrive, or wasn’t liked or I just don’t rate a thank you. I will be more careful from now on for whom I spend time and money for gifts.

It is my hope in writing this down and getting it off my chest, the hurt will begin to lessen.